Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
