I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
