ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just want to make out with him forever
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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