allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
