I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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