i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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