Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
