$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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