its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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