Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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