After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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