there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
