i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
