He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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