So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
