Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm like, not good at living.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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