Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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