Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize