Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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