is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
