Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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