Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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