My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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