We're facebook friends in real life
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize