I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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