I just saw a hot homeless man
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
