I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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