Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
