so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
