Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
