I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
