He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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