just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
