I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
