My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
