apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
