I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize