Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Randomize
