If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So apparently I’m into choking now
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
