Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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