I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
