Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
