Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
