we have officially lost it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
