Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize