Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
