does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
