did you get engaged???
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
