Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
