My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
