69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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