3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She said her name was "party"
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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