Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
