Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
