I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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