none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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