Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
