It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
