so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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