i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
