the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
